t shirt that says “ask me about the time loop” and i wear it every day

Bro I just wanna hold your dick while you pee it's not even a sex thing it's for science. Dude why are you making such a big deal out of this. Grow up

DO YOU JUST HATE SCIENCE NOW, BRO?? ARE YOU ANTI-SCIENCE NOW??? LET ME AIM YOUR DICK WHILE YOU PISS HOLY SHIT

friend that doesnt drive: anyways really look the thing about origami is that its not about getting the fold right on the first try its meant to be an exercise in precision sure but also in patience the instructions are repeatable tasks that you do over and over again to polish the skill before applying it to something else. a thousand swans arent folded in a day and really its meant to bring you to reflect upon what it means to even be folding in the first pl-

friend that drives: HOLY SHIT 3.20 A GALLON? I SHOULDVE FILLED UP THERE anyway i understand the process is meant to soothe the itch of perfection that gnaws at the soul through exposure to imperfection but OH FUCK [drives over median straight into Walmart parking lot while nearby F150 lays on the horn because you stopped him from running a red light]

I need a little help here

me decoding and reading the message

you wouldn't dpwnload a boner

yes i would

i still have so much to learn about computers

dude you gotta eat the ice cream it's melting

This is literally my favorite tweet of all time. It’s so powerful.

She Freaken Forgor Me

cackling at this, can NOT believe it's a real, actual quote. it reads so much like one of those clickhole pieces